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So, tennis, eh? What a cracking sport. I can almost bring myself to care about it a full 2 weeks a year. If you wonder where that is on the scale – below cricket, above snooker, darts and golf. You’ll notice none of those four, technically can be classed as sports (Pease is sophisting himself about cricket).

Anyway, the normal progression for Wimbledon is: pluckyneverheardofpseudoBritishwin, annoyinginsomeway(wimp/Canadian/grumpy)butultimatelynotallthatbadBritishscrapethrough, rain, pluckyneverheardofpseudoBritishloss, annoyinginsomeway(wimp/Canadian/grumpy)butultimatelynotallthatbadBritishbigwinfoolishlyraisingexpectations-ofnation, tabloidpun, rain, annoyinginsomeway(wimp/Canadian/grumpy)butultimatelynotallthatbadBritishbulldogcomebackwin, nationthatshouldknowbetterhysteria, rain, annoyinginsomeway(wimp/Canadian/grumpy)butultimatelynotallthatbadBritishlosstosimianlookinggitwhorepeatedly-executesanddespitelookinglikeafreakisbloodygood, abuseofannoyinginsomeway(wimp/Canadian/grumpy)butultimatelynotallthatbadBritishloser, acceptance, apathy.

Rain.

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