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This is pretty much the greatest simile ever:

“The realisation that he didn’t know exactly why he was doing what he was doing suddenly chilled and electrified him. He turned slowly like a fridge door opening.”

On the surface it’s brilliant and random. A bit below it’s freakin’ genius.


Up till now I’ve been farely disappointed by the absence of general weirdness that I’ve seen in Japan, one of the great shames and advantages of globalisation, is that very few places (especially cities) feel alien anymore.

The other night, however, I was wandering round a shop and happened onto some toy model cars for sale. They were sandwiched in between stun guns and sex toys. That, my friends, is genius juxtaposition. Do you go in thinking, ‘ooh I want a model car’ and then realise you were actually after a dildo? Or are you looking for lube and think an 2000V shock is a more interesting idea?